October Tile Job

So why do our own tile? Because any of you who have priced out tile labor know how ridiculously expensive it is. So to save a good chunk of change, we did it ourselves! The tile job all started on the first weekend of October, where we were pounded with snow. My parents came up to help us lay tile in our new house, and little did we all know we would have the first HUGE snow storm of the season. This picture shows the very start of it, but it got so bad that it took us two hours to drive a distance that normally takes 15 minutes.

Thanks to willing friends at Carson's work, we were able to borrow the tools necessary to get the job done. So.. if you have ever wondered how to lay tile, here's all the steps on how to do it yourself! Of course ours isn't perfect since my dad was the only one with experience, but here's how the job process went for us!

HOW TO LAY TILE:

Step 1: Get some help! It's a huge job when you are doing all of it yourself, especially if one of you is preggo! My mom and dad offered with no hesitation to be our slaves for a weekend, despite my dad's health problems with his cancer. They even stayed an extra two days to help us get the job done! I've got the best parents ever! STEP 2: Don't get ready for the day so your mom can snap a bunch of embarrasing pictures of you... Ok so here's the actual step... Nail down backerboard every 6 inches. STEP 3: Check and make sure that all screws are flush with backerboard. If they aren't keep drilling them down until they are. (Otherwise you could break your tile from the pressure of an uneven screw.) STEP 4: Sweep all backerboard and take note to never use those painters again....(We asked them to lay down tarps and not drip any paint on the backerboard because it can mess up the adhesive process... grrr they said they would do it and didn't... thus all the paint spots.) STEP 5: Mop backerboard lightly. Soaking it is never an option because it can ruin the composition of the board.STEP 6: Mix cement bag with correct portions of different fluids. Keep Mrs. Preggo away from the fumes.STEP 7: Make sure Mrs. Preggo wears a mask to protect the little fetus from the harmful fumes so she can still work like everyone else. Let mom get her good laugh at the dorky-looking Mrs. Preggo and snap a picture for the history books. After that, start spreadin' the goo!

STEP 8: Have husband come after you to even out your rough draft "goo" job. It's important to angle the spatula tool at 45 degrees and apply the same force as you spread it across the given area.--otherwise, you will end up with some tile squares higher than others. (That's why we decided to let Carson go behind me and do a "final draft" since he could keep his technique pretty even.)
STEP 9: Measure any tricky areas that won't require a full tile. STEP 10: Collaborate with father-in-law and do the arithmetic and artwork required to figure out the exact inches for each tile cut going up, down, sideways, backwards, and so forth. STEP 11: Take the drawing/math to the cutter and wish for the best luck on cutting it right! Thank goodness my dad is smart and understands numbers... he did practically every tile perfect first try, and since our kitchen tile was 24' x 24', that was a trick trying to cut it on a tile saw built for only 18' tiles!STEP 12: Run the cut tile piece up the stairs to the room it belongs. Plan on sore quads the next day.
STEP 12: String plugs/cords across anything possible to keep them off the floor so you can actually LAY the tile! STEP 13: Start laying the tile! STEP 14: And continue to lay the tile! Try to have the same person lay it if possible, because the spacing in between the tile will stay more even. (Poor Carson)STEP 15: Make sure to add the little white spacers in between the tile. 1We used 1/16 inch spacers are really small, but will give your tile a very fine and hidden grout line when finished.

STEP 16: Make sure to even out "goo" around pipes and floor drains. STEP 17: Make sure tile is cut to fit perfectly around pipes and floor drains. If not, use a special chipping tool to pinch off the extra inches needed so it fits tight.
STEP 18: After applying each tile, stand/bounce on it to squish it firmly in place. If tile is higher than surrounding ones, keep jumping until it lays flush. If it won't lay flush, consider it a "character piece" in your floor.
STEP 19: Check to make sure gridlines of tiles already laid are even and square.

STEP 20: Clean up the tile scraps and mess as you go!
STEP 21: Squeeze an icing-sized amount of grout in between two tiles. (Nope that's not a cake-piping bag, although it looks like one! It's a special grouting bag, although you could use it to do a cake too I'm sure...)

STEP 22: Work the grout back and forth with grouting tool until it is packed down firmly between the two tiles.
STEP 23: Wipe off excess grout.
STEP 24: Don't forget to do under the closets!
STEP 25: Sweep all excess grout off the tile floor.
STEP 26: Start scrubbing the floor and try with all your might to get rid of the grout residue. STEP 27: Accept the fact that no matter how well you clean it, the grout haze won't be completely gone until several washings.
STEp 28: Try and smile after your 20th time of cleaning the same tile floor and there's still grout residue. Run sealer over the grout lines after 12 hours of dry-time.

STEP 29: Thank the people who helped you for their hours of slavery. Mom and Dad, thanks again for all of your help! There is NO way we could have done it without you!

STEP 30: Let someone else do your showers. You're sick of laying tile by this point. (post to come later)

So there you have it! Way too many steps on how to do a tile job.... hope you never have to do one. :)